Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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