You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If I had your ass I would rule the world
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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