I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
