I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
