I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
