You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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