Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
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Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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