the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize