Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
