I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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