I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
