somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
