so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
