Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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