Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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