I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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