I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
