she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
