I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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