I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone signed my nipple.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
