With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
God, I missed his penis.
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