I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
