I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
