you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You need Xanax blowdarts
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
