Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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