you would pick up someone in the library
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize