i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Randomize
