id be glad to
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
