I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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