i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
