i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's never too late to be topless.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
