so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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