Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
