Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
