It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
