before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Slut skills are useful in every country.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
