My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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