you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
