Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i love accidental penises.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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