yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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