Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Randomize