I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
