Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
