is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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