All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
