and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
