plz talk dirty to me
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
