I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize