Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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