Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I could fuck to npr.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
