another moral hangover. fuck.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
