I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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