i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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