We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
