Ambien. No doubt about it.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
