There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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